aislinn and i.

receptionist = aislinn.

Dana R. Larkin says:
dude. remember that guy i told you about that wouldn't stop calling me?

Dana R. Larkin says:
he just called me again. and he called over the weekend, too.

Dana R. Larkin says:
get the fucking hint. i never answer. and the last time i did, i fucking hung up on him.

Dana R. Larkin says:
like, i could understand if we hung out and he knew me and all. but he met me for all of 5 minutes. LEAVE ME ALONE.

Receptionist says:
How did you meet him, again?

Dana R. Larkin says:
at the bus stop, haha

Dana R. Larkin says:
when it was all snowy and shit.

Dana R. Larkin says:
i was drunk and therefore overly friendly

Receptionist says:
riiiiight

Receptionist says:
haha

Dana R. Larkin says:
dude. seriously. stop calling me.

Dana R. Larkin says:
i don't get it.

Receptionist says:
Yeah, that was a long time ago.

Receptionist says:
Maybe he's, um, slow.

Dana R. Larkin says:
i mean. I HUNG UP ON HIM!

Dana R. Larkin says:
i never answer when he calls.

Receptionist says:
hahaha

Receptionist says:
Did you talk at all before you hung up?

Dana R. Larkin says:
enough to sound supremely perturbed.

Receptionist says:
What did you say?

Dana R. Larkin says:
specifically? something along the lines of being sleeping.

Dana R. Larkin says:
i'm not going to answer and tell him to stop calling me.

Dana R. Larkin says:
you would think someone would get the hint by now.

Dana R. Larkin says:
and it's not like it's an issue of him calling all the time. it's just once or twice a week.

Receptionist says:
Does he leave messages?

Dana R. Larkin says:
no. this is the first time that he left a 'message' aka, paged me.

Dana R. Larkin says:
for lack of a better term.

Receptionist says:
But just with his number, he didn't say anything?

Dana R. Larkin says:
after the beep you can just put your number in, then my phone sends me a text message saying 'please call ###-###-####'


Receptionist says:
ah


Receptionist says:
haha

Receptionist says:
So weird.

Dana R. Larkin says:
i'm not going to call you.

Dana R. Larkin says:
ever.

Receptionist says:
You should text-to-call him, and have the computer tell him that.

Dana R. Larkin says:
hahahahahaha

Dana R. Larkin says:
it wouldnt' work.

Receptionist says:
laaaame

Dana R. Larkin says:
he calls from a cell phone.

Dana R. Larkin says:
i can only do it to land lines

(this is in reference to the fact that i can send text messages to landlines and a computer voice reads the text over the phone)

Receptionist says:
Man. You need to find a boy with a landline to reject, because that would be amazing.

Dana R. Larkin says:
i just hope the next time he calls i'm around a boy so i can have them answer the phone and pretend to be my boyfriend.

Dana R. Larkin says:
and yes, i do.

Dana R. Larkin says:
that would be awesome.

Receptionist says:
hahaha

Receptionist says:
You should put an ad on craigslist saying you like guys who are stable enough to have a landline, and then make him buy you dinner, and THEN blow him off with the computer voice.

Dana R. Larkin says:
hahaha, yeah i should.

Dana R. Larkin says:
MUST HAVE LANDLINE

Receptionist says:
exactly.

twenty minutes later..........

Dana R. Larkin says:
dude.

Dana R. Larkin says:
he called again.

Dana R. Larkin says:
and left a message.

Receptionist says:
What does it say?

Dana R. Larkin says:
to call him.

Dana R. Larkin says:
i'm not going to.

Receptionist says:
haha

Receptionist says:
What does he sound like? How old is he?

Dana R. Larkin says:
he sounds like a black person. he's probs mid late 20s.

Receptionist says:
hahahahaha

Dana R. Larkin says:
shut up

Receptionist says:
You should tell him you're too afraid to go black, in case you never go back.

Dana R. Larkin says:
hahaha

Dana R. Larkin says:
no.

Dana R. Larkin says:
i'm not calling him.

Receptionist says:
Oh man, if only the computer could say that.

Dana R. Larkin says:
it's funny. his message sounded kind of urgent. but, like, what does a person that doesn't know have to tell me that's fucking urgent?

Receptionist says:
Maybe he's dying, and he wants to leave you his stamp collection.

Dana R. Larkin says:
black people don't collect stamps.

Receptionist says:
hahaha

Dana R. Larkin says:
and i don't want it.

Receptionist says:
Maybe he just urgently wants to put it in your butt.

Dana R. Larkin says:
that's probably it.

Dana R. Larkin says:
i think i need to blog this.

Receptionist says:
You can take out the boring parts about me getting a landline.

Dana R. Larkin says:
right, i will

Dana R. Larkin says:
more to the racial profiling and butt sex

Receptionist says:
Well, that's what the audience likes.

that is what the audience likes. you're welcome.
xoxo
dana

period medicine is officially stupid.

receptionist = aislinn.


Receptionist says:
So, at the store I bought Pamprin, which is one of the stupidest product names I've ever heard. I've never bought "period medicine" before, but it hurt really bad and I figured I'd try it. Either it's not working, or if I hadn't taken it I'd be balled up on the floor screaming because it still hurts way more than is acceptable.

Dana R. Larkin says:
i've heard that midol is preferred to pamprin.

Dana R. Larkin says:
i know midol is the best hangover drug.

Dana R. Larkin says:
i've never taken either for lady problems.

Receptionist says:
That's what Monique says! It makes sense. Unfortunately, Safeway only had Midol varieties that were gelcaps, which are made with gelatin. Pamprin was the only non-gelatin choice.

Dana R. Larkin says:
ahhhh.

Dana R. Larkin says:
i don't know what to tell you. honestly, i don't know why either one is any better than advil.

Receptionist says:
Midol also has caffeine, which is another reason it's good for hangovers, but means I couldn't really take it after 4.

Dana R. Larkin says:
right.

Receptionist says:
Yeah, I think your right. Period medicine is officially stupid.

Dana R. Larkin says:
duly noted.

Receptionist says:
err, you're.

Dana R. Larkin says:
p.s. blogging this.

Receptionist says:
hahahaha

Receptionist says:
I wish periods were more like Tampax commercials. I'd rather be horseback riding.

Dana R. Larkin says:
or kick boxing.

THE END.

i'm engaged!

this pack of fire sauce from DTK (down town kent) taco bell asked me to marry it (him? her?).  i said yes.

aislinn said that we would have 'such beautiful children'.  to which i replied 'they'd be hot!'.  

see, it's funny.  they would be hot because it's fire sauce.

also, i was really sad because 'i love money' ended and i thought there was nothing worth living for on sundays, however, rock of love charm school started and my sundays were saved.  solid.

wait.......what?

this has got to be the weirdest thing i have ever seen.  i'm so confused.

thanks, www.killedforless.com 

Overheard on the bus: if me and you had been together, in the summer, i wouldn't have put myself in that situation....to be in jail.

another im conversation between aislinn and i

i just got back from walking to seattle center to sit at the fountain and read my US weekly. here is the conversation that ensued upon my return.

dana=me
receptionist=aislinn


Dana R. Larkin says:
back!

Receptionist says:
How was it?

Dana R. Larkin says:
oh man, the fountain was on and there were kids standing over the holes where the water shoots up and it made me feel icky.

Receptionist says:
hahaha

Receptionist says:
Icky like a pedophile, or icky like thinking about what that would feel like?

Dana R. Larkin says:
yes.

Receptionist says:
hahaha

ta-da!

an average IM conversation between aislinn and i.

dana=me
receptionist=aislinn.

enjoy:


Receptionist says:
Haha, maybe you should consider doing some medical studies for cash.

Dana R. Larkin says:
that's a great idea.

Dana R. Larkin says:
except not at all.

Receptionist says:
The worst that could happen is death!

Dana R. Larkin says:
i could get herpes, so i could participate in all those studies.

Dana R. Larkin says:
i wish i had desirable genes. then i could get into egg donation.

Dana R. Larkin says:
they pay bank yo!

Receptionist says:
hahaha

Receptionist says:
I think you can only donate eggs once.

Dana R. Larkin says:
still, its a butt load of money.

Receptionist says:
Also, that's the best reason to get herpes I've ever heard.

Dana R. Larkin says:
i know!

Dana R. Larkin says:
excuse me, do you have herpes? No?, no thanks, move along.

Receptionist says:
You could post at ad on Craigslist.

Dana R. Larkin says:
i could.

Dana R. Larkin says:
however, i'm not going to.

Receptionist says:
Herpes Carriers ONLY - I need your precious virus to make cold, hard cash. Please be good in bed, beard-free, and provide your own transportation.

Dana R. Larkin says:
hahahaha.

Dana R. Larkin says:
perfect. post it.

Receptionist says:
No way. I like emails from strangers, but even I don't want to wade through the responses to that one.

Dana R. Larkin says:
true dat.

Dana R. Larkin says:
i'm blogging our conversation above. it's too good.

Receptionist says:
hahaha

ta-da!